In 1925, Reti played a blindfold simultaneous exhibition on 30 boards. When he was going home after that, he forgot a suitcase. When somebody reminded him about it, Reti said: “Thank you very much. My memory is so bad…”

* * *

George Carlin once asked, “Can you buy an entire chess set at a pawn shop?”

The first ever chess draw: Two cavemen playing chess

The first draw ever

Two friends meet on the street one day and one of them says, “My wife says if I play in the chess tournament tomorrow he’ll take the kids and leave me.” The other asks him, “So what are you going to do?” And the other answers, “Same as always, e4.”

* * *

Best play for White against the Sicilian? 1.d4!

* * *

Alexander Alekhine was once asked by a playful interviewer whether he preferred the queen on the board or on the bed. “It depends,” he replied, “on the position.”

* * *

Q. What is the difference between a chess player and a couple on a blind date?
A. The chess player mates then chats…

* * *

What do you call a Catholic Priest who doesn’t know how to play chess?
A Bad Bishop.

* * *

“Chess is not something that drives people mad,” chess-playing psychologist William Hartston once remarked. “Chess is something that keeps mad people sane.”

Policeman: You were swerving pretty badly back there. Let's see if you can walk a straight line. Chess Knight: Awww, crap!

Drunk Knight

A Russian gulag back in 1972. All the prisoners were listening to a world championship match everyday over a radio. One day when the match was all tied up the guards discovered the radio and took it from the prisoners so they could listen.

After two weeks of not knowing what had happened in the Fischer Spassky match, a new prisoner arrived. Everyone immediately asked him what had happened in the World Chess Championship match. “I lost. ”

* * *

Coach told them: Boxing isn’t like chess, you have got to think!

* * *

– It’s become impossible to play chess with the Chinese. Especially when they start moving those knights around the board.

– What’s with that? Well, knight goes like “L”.

– Really? Have you ever seen how they write “L”?

* * *

Chess is merely a continuation of politics by means of checkmate.

* * *

– Do you love me, she asked snuggling closer.

– Of course, he replied gently.

– Do you want to marry me?

– Why do you have such a habit of forcing the game right into the endgame?

If you have some jokes and you want to share it, please feel free to add in the comments box. Thanks

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